An open letter to specialists of all kinds:
Dear Guru,
I've got a hobby I'm really enjoying, and you are an expert in the field. You come recommended by people I respect, but you've never met me. I know you get a lot of tire-kickers and guys just jerking you around, and I'm really sorry for that (it must get really old). It's hard to make a living like that.
Even though I'm new to this and you don't know me-- I'm asking you to give my intelligence the benefit of the doubt. It has nothing in common with your particular area of expertise, but I'm reasonably successful at what I do. That's the thing about this hobby-- I'm at least partly interested in it because it's not like how I make a living, and it's a bit of a diversion from the grind.
I'm really motivated to learn all I can, and ask a lot of questions. You know that there are internet forums for every possible hobby, and that I'm bound to gravitate towards them. Please don't think this is meant as disrespect. This thing you do, you do for a living, and I'm trying to learn about it to escape my way of making a living. This is all new and really cool to me. I'm diving into the deep end, and it's all very interesting.
So, as difficult as it must be for you-- I'd like to be part of the decision-making process and would like to learn as much as I can along the way. I know that you do this on a daily basis, and I'm not trying to question your advice or conclusions. We'll probably end up just doing what you think is best, but I'd like to understand why we are doing things this way instead of that.
The thing is-- if I just give you vague perimeters for a desired outcome, and you build what you think is best, and my involvement doesn't go beyond just writing a check-- the thing isn't a hobby anymore, it's just a transaction. I can wander down to the car dealer and do the same thing. I don't want that, or I would have done it already. The journey is at least as exciting as the destination, and I've got a hungry mind-- I'd really like to learn about this stuff along the way.
I know it must get old. You say you're busy and don't have time for this. I get that, but I wonder if you remember what it's like to get so excited about something that you just needed to know everything you could about it? That you couldn't sleep? I can't expect you to be that excited about this any more, as it's the way you put food on the table-- but if you take away my "back and forth", you're taking away the things that are helping me learn. I'm sure it's not important for you that I learn, but it's vitally important to me. I'm not just buying your service, I'm buying the process.
Please don't short-circuit that process. Please don't rob the joy I've got in learning about this thing . You're the guru. I'm probably going to end up doing what you think is right. But PLEASE let me spool out a bit-- give me some line to run before you start reeling me in. I'm spending a lot of money.
It's important to me to enjoy every step of the way.